2 ½ weeks. 18 days. 8 visits to Kawuku. 3 church services.

There are moments this seems like an eternity. Other moments I have to fight back the tears that try to fall as I think about finishing out my time here. Only 8 more visits to Kawuku to see the smiles that have changed my heart forever. Only 8 more times to catch Zina in my arms as she runs towards me. Only 8 more chances to have little Brite steal my heart as he yells out my name and then proudly says something in Luganda that he thinks I can understand. Only 3 more services to watch Grace and Sister Pros lead worship.

As hard as it has been for me, the beauty in what I have been surrounded by is unexplainable. How, when everything has been hard, does my soul still see beauty deeper than ever before? How can such an impoverished area produce such hope in this “all American girl?”

To work in the slums here in Kampala has both produced the most heartbreak and the most joy.

To know that some of my people live off of 2000 shillings a day (= $1). To see their tattered second hand clothes and torn shoes. There are no manicured yards for the kids to play in. No libraries near that they can sit and read in. No air conditioning to escape the Ugandan heat. No packages coming with brownie mixes and spring colored Oreos. No good medical services when they are sick. Money talks here…in a horribly corrupt way…and when you don’t have it- you don’t have a voice. They are welcome at the clinic, but there is a chance they will get the left over, outdated medicine that possibly has nothing to do with their illness. These are the things they live with day in and day out that I will never understand.

We don’t know what it’s like to go without food. We don’t know what it’s like to have to walk sometimes for miles, because we can’t afford the transport. I know that some of us walk places…. But it is our CHOICE. What about when you can’t choose………

Yet, the smiles on the faces of our church members reflect a joy deeper than I can ever explain, or even understand. They are so thankful. They have dirt floors, yet clean them as if they were hardwood. They have torn second hand clothes, yet they take perfect care of them.

I thought I was coming for them…. I thought I was coming to share Christ and the hope of His message….. I thought I was coming to love and serve…. To fuse courage into them…… There are a hundred more reasons “I thought I came” that all have to do with me giving to them.

And maybe I have done all that. But what I didn’t plan on was them so abundantly giving to me. They have given me JOY, LOVE, HOPE, and CHANGE. They have forever changed my heart, and the hearts of those God has chosen to embark on this journey with me. They have forever changed the way that I minister, surrender, and love.

I have to be honest- I am really excited about coming home to air conditioning, drinking water straight from the faucet, good food, no mosquitoes buzzing around my room at night, and a gazillion other things. But…… what these people have given me is deeper than any of those. They have shown me what life really is about. What really matters. And how love and joy can greatly abound regardless of circumstances.

It breaks my heart to see their lifestyle. But, you know what? It breaks my heart to see ours too. We have everything, yet somehow for the past 23 years… I’ve missed all of this.